Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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