you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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