Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
