You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
