spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
