I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
