somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
