Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
