i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
