he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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