Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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