I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Randomize
