Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
