fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
