But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
