Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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