It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
