seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
