Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
