just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
