His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
third nipple confirmed
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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