But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
