And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
