How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
