Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
