dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
