It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
