Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
