Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
