I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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