I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
