Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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