My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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