did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
