im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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