Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
