i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
