my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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