Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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