tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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