Can i not drive my cunt home
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
