shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Text me some of your sweat
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
