Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
