Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
