is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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