so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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