it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
