He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize