So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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