I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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