I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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