I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
