maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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