Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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